The memories of adolescence can stay buried in our minds longer than we expect. I carried
anger from bullies I knew as a teen into my 50’s. Whenever I thought of the situation, I became
instantly angered. On two different occasions, two former bullies offered sincere apologies. They
both had a warmth I hadn’t anticipated, a reminder that people can acknowledge harm and
change. Forgiveness, I realized, isn’t a gift to others but one I give myself. Letting go didn’t
erase the past, but it allowed me to reclaim my present.
For years, unresolved anger shaped how I moved through the world. I forgave my bullies and
they gave me peace. It was mind blowing recognizing that the energy spent on the past could
be redirected toward the here and now.
I truly was shocked with those apologies. Hearing someone acknowledge harm and express
remorse did more than ease a wound, it changed the boundary between past and present. The
past remained real, but the hold on me began to loosen. The apologies didn’t erase the hurt, but
they opened a door to healing, suggesting that growth is possible for everyone.
It was like letting go of a balloon of anger I held onto me for decades.
Closing that chapter didn’t require ongoing contact with those who hurt me, however, I now had
closure. Letting go can feel like a weight lifted off of you, freeing you to breathe more freely